The Story of a Finger

Most people's fingers get hurt once in their lives. Cuts and scars are normal because we all have to go through getting our fingers caught in a cheese grater, touching a hot stove, etc., to learn about the way that life works.

At the young age of 25, my right hand ring finger has endured 2 traumatic injuries. The first took place at the age of 18 months. I wanted to cut something (an apple or cheese depending on who the story comes from) and when I couldn't get help, I picked up the knife just behind the handle and went to take care of things myself. Upon entering the kitchen, one of my older sisters knew of the danger I was in and she swiftly grabbed the handle and removed the knife from my hand. The nerves on two of my fingers were severed but with plastic surgery and some attentive parents, I have full feeling in all the fingers on my right hand.

On 10-10-10, I was hiking Mt. Timpanogas with my good friend, Melissa, and my dog, Hendrix, when we came across another couple hiking with their four dogs that were all off the leash. Because a dog has no defense against other dogs on the leash and we had already had an encounter with one of the dogs in the parking lot, I let Hendrix off the leash to go and meet the other dogs. While being sniffed and smelled by four dogs at once, Hendrix got defensive and started to bark. Then one of the other dogs started to bark at him and they started to fight a little. When it went on longer than it should have, the owner of one of the dogs jumped on his dog and and ran over and jumped on Hendrix, my left arm around his body and my right hand tucked into his collar. When one of the dogs persisted in prodding him while he was being held

down, Hendrix jumped away from me and I heard a loud pop. I thought his collar had broken but when I stood up and saw that his collar was steadfastly in place and then I realized I couldn't move my finger, I looked down to see that my finger was hanging the wrong way. I told my Melissa that I had broken my finger and that we had to leave and she ran down to get Hendrix on the leash and then put the leash around her waist. As we started to hike out, the owner of the other dogs asked if there was anything that she could do, I replied by asking her to keep her dogs under control.

Hendrix and Ash at the top of Mt. Ibapah

Luckily, the morning was very cold and my hands were nearly numb because I didn't have gloves on. This kept any pain I may have had at bay. Melissa drove us out of the canyon after which we called Ashley. It was decided that instead of visiting the closest emergency roo

m, driving back up to Salt Lake to visit our closest Instacare would be a better idea. A couple of hours later, we made it there and had x-rays. That was when I received the bad news. My finger was broken so badly that it was not treatable at the Instacare and I would have to go to a hand specialist. I had a spiral fracture (the bone was broken like a slinky) and would likely have to be set with hardware in surgery.

Shortly thereafter, I came to terms with the fact that this was not your normal finger break and that I would likely be out of commission for quite sometime. My appointment with the hand doctor took place on the Wednesday following the accident and without looking at much other than the x-ray, I was scheduled for surgery the following day. What a bummer!

In my surgery prep, the Doc came in to tell me that he felt- based on the x-ray- that he would be able to fix the break with three screws and wanted to prevent putting a plate in to reduce the chance for hardware removal later on. When I woke up, the first question I asked was for water, the second question I asked was how much hardware I had. I was told, "six screws and a plate." My husband informed me later that the break was much more complex than the x-ray showed meriting much more hardware. In my follow-up appointment with the Dr., I was told that if I promised to never wear any rings on my 3rd, 4th, or 5th fingers, I would not have to have the hardware removed. Considering that I rarely wear jewelry anyway, I considered this a fair trade!

I was given a custom splint for my hand and physical therapy to do at home and sent on my way. Nearly three weeks after the surgery, I am making progress on the movement of my ring finger but still have a very limited range of motion. Other than extreme tendinitis, I have very little pain in the finger but the stiffness makes my brain want to reject it as a broken piece and never use it. I have to be very conscious of the use of the finger to make sure that I don't neglect.

After it all, I have learned how mortal I am and how just one split second can change my life. One second I am healthy and active and proud; the next moment I am being humbled and scheduled for surgery. I am battling this thing psychologically as much as I am physically but I am sure that everything will turn out fine in the end. As long as I can get my hand in a glove and wrapped around a pole for ski season in a couple of weeks, I should be happy, right? Oh, and I want my

good handwriting back. I never realized how much you need all of your fingers to write with good penmanship. I guess it is the same as a singer never getting braces for fear that it will change his/her acoustics. Do you want to know the worst part? Melissa didn't get to summit Timp, something that was on her list of things to do this year, all because of my dumb 'ol finger!

Signing off...

Long Time, No See

I was just reading my sister's blog, where there is a link to my blog, and I noticed that I haven't updated this thing in 7 months. So let me make a list of excuses as to why so that you know what I have been up to over the last 10 months.

January

• Made resolutions (I just checked and the list is looking pretty completed!)
• Went skiing in Steamboat Springs
• Visited the New Belgium Brewery in Ft. Collins- voted one of the Top 5 places to work by Outside Magazine
  
  

February

• Purchased my first web domain
• Developed the Park City Mini Trail Series concept
• Officially changed my name to Widders

March

• Applied for the Park City Mini Trail Series to take place
• Developed the R-U-N? Events Logo
• Completed the Canyonlands Half Marathon in 1:45
• Moved and marketed our new, 8,000 sq ft location for my "real job"
• Applied for and received a business license for R-U-N? Events

April

• Skied Snowbird for the first time (and Baldy!)
• Basement Flooded due to electrical worker error (never hire Park City Electric!)
• Opened a business checking account with Chase Bank
• Completed the Salt Lake City Half Marathon (1:52, I think)
• Got my first R-U-N? Events Junk Mail
• Finished Spring Semester

May

• Put on the "Grand Opening 5k," my first real event, for my 'real job'
• Park City Mini Trail Series is approved by Park City
• Went to Atlanta for a Bar Mitzvah and visited the Coca-Cola Museum
• Opened Photoshop for the first time and created my first advertisement
• I have R-U-N? Events business cards
• Completed the St. George Triathlon- Olympic Distance
• Completed the Daybreak Triathlon- Olympic Distance

June

• Appeared on Good Things Utah to do a bit on Trail Running and my events
• Started Kitchen Remodel
• Completed my first event with just over 75 participants!!!
• Buying Season Starts at my 'real job'

July

• Appeared on Park City TV to advertise my second event
• Put on my second event with just under 100 participants
• An article was published in The Park Record about the second event
• Went to San Fransisco and Sonoma County where I...
• Completed the Vineman 70.3 Triathlon- the hardest thing I have ever done in a single day
• Got my kitchen back after the remodel
• 
  
  

August

• Turned 25 and worked 15 hours on my birthday (I must be an adult now)
• Turned in my final Portfolio for school marking the finish of my degree
• Put on my third and final event with just over 100 particiapants
• Went on my first river rafting trip on the Green River
• Bought and iPad- then returned it for a Mac Mini

September

• Cooked for a full week in my new kitchen
• Hiked King's Peak
• Went to Boston for a New Balance Conference
• Received my diploma in the mail

October

• Took 6th in the Wasatch Woman 10k (7.2 miles in 52 minutes)
• Broke my finger (more to come on that soon)
• Surgery
• Las Vegas Running Vacation instead of Ragnar Relay
• Hopefully no more drama!!!

So now you know, and hopefully understand, why I haven't been blogging all this time. I can definitely say that with a little spare time due to my hand being broken, I have enjoyed catching up on all of your blogs so thanks for keeping them updated!

The Sounds of Music

Throughout my childhood and adolescence, music was a very big part of my life. My parents chose to expose me and my siblings to it at every turn. Sometimes, I hated it- the hours of practicing instead of playing outside or watching tv. As I grew older and became more practiced, I started to appreciate my parents' efforts and the gift of music and rhythm that they had given me and my siblings. I learned to recognize the way that music has the ability to invoke emotion or express it- perfectly.



This morning, as I was listening to NPR, Peter Gabriel was interviewed about his latest album, "Scratch My Back." Although Peter Gabriel and his original band, Genesis, will be part of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame later this year, this album is different- all of the pieces are covers of another artists work and none of them contain the typical Rock and Roll instruments drums or guitars.



After listening to a few clips from his new album, I realized that part of the thesis of this album was not only to show a new side of Peter Gabriel, but to explain to everyone that it is not only the lyrics, but the music that makes a great piece of music into a stunning piece of art. Many of the songs were very popular when they were originally released, such as Paul Simon's "The Boy in the Bubble." Paul Simon, known as a great singer/songwriter, released this song in the 80's as a politically active song representing Africa. You can listen to it here. After Peter Gabriel did it over, it represents a completely different mood and conveys a completely different message. You can listen to Peter's version here. Another example is Peter's version of "The book of Love." I fell in love with song several years ago as it quietly expresses the complex enchantment of love. The original writer, The Magnetic Fields, expressed more of a mocking tone, pointing at the silliness and trivial pursuits of lovers. Even the concept of "the book of love," as if there are instructions on this thing, is somewhat hilarious. Listen to the two versions of the song, I am sure you will understand.



There are many other songs on this album that I loved the first time around- "I think it's gonna rain" by Randy Newman (although I love the covers by Bette Midler and David Gray as well) and "Flume" by Bon Iver- but I understand them in a completely different way now that Peter Gabriel has worked his magic. The amazing thing, which you will hear if you listen to the album, is that the sounds of music can enhance lyrics and mood in a way that literally nothing else can. I have a younger sister who is just discovering the power of music through composition. Recently, I asked her what she wanted to study more deeply, what she was passionate about, and how she might look forward to turning her passions into a career. Although she is only 15, she expressed a lot of joy and passion for the subject of musical composition. I talked to her about writing movie scores and explained the way that a good score composer creates a mood for a movie- Thomas Newman's score for Little Women is one of our common favorites- and she understood that emotion is a part of art and that writing music is more than putting notes on a page that sound good together; music is an emotional expression.



As I sit here listening to the songs on the album, I am blown away, once again, by Peter Gabriel. This album is more than a new musical expression. It is a representation of the study, care, and process that is songwriting. If you buy one album this year, buy this one. It isn't just songs that go together, this album is a musical and artistic representation of emotion. Well done, Peter, well done.

The Winter Uintas

Since the Winter is just beginning and the road to our Uinta Sanctuary hasn't closed yet, we have been able to go out there to hike around in the snow. I just love the Winter season now that I know how to go play in it.

This is Hendrix's first winter season with us and for how little fur he has to stay warm, we were shocked to see him go bounding through the snow, enjoying himself more than ever. We bought him a little fleece to keep him warm and he knows that when he puts it on, we are going out for an adventure.

Ash is at it again with some great pics of me and Hendrix. We hiked up to the top of Mount Watson, about 11,700 feet.

On our second trip out there, we left just as the snow started to fall and the sun had just finished setting. We are looking forward to heading back out into the Uintas during the rest of the winter. I am getting some touring gear for Christmas so Ash and I will go skiing with Hendrix in the backcountry every chance we get.

Winter, here we come...now please send us some snow!

Comb Ridge: My Spiritual Rebirth

I recently went to Comb Ridge where I had an incredible experience. I have had experiences like this before but this was just incredible. I wrote in my journal about it to help myself remember the feelings of the places I visited. Ranier Maria Rilke wrote, "...Tell a wise person, or keep silent, because the massman will mock it right away." I feel like this is no more applicable than to this situation. I am glad that the only people that read this are those who care about me because I am going to write things I didn't expect to tell people.

While I was out, I was able to watch the sunrise on Comb Ridge and write in my journal . Although I don't like poetry, I have always been impressed with the way it can express so much with so few words. I wrote my first poem while watching the sun rise.

Awaken

As the sun rises

to awaken the Sleeping Ute

And the Navajo flautest

stirs the depth of my soul

my mind, my heart, become unconcealed.

The rock balances on the spire

and peace with serenity rises.

The awakened arises to greet it.

On the trip, we saw so many ruins and homes of the Native Americans. Finding these was incredible. It showed me that this land is not just beautiful but it supports life and it is sacred. The only thoughts I have been able to write down that I felt came even close to portraying my thoughts were written once I was home from the trip:

"As a young teenager, I spent several weeks pedaling my way through the desert of Southern and Central Utah. The colors, the scents, and experiences embedded themselves into my identity. It was not until my recent return to Comb Ridge that I reawakened that part of my soul. So many times I have tried to explain the reasons why nature feels sacred to me. Upon returning, I realize that interacting with the life-forms that sustain my life and discovering the mutual repsect that lies between us brings me into a state of wholeness and conciousness that I am not often acquainted with. This wholeness brings on a new respect for all the relationships I have- human, nature, meta-physical, and imaginative alike."

If you think what I am saying here is silly or contrived, my only response is to ask you, "When was the last time you were in the desert?" You must go there, sit in solitude, and breathe with the land. Only then will you understand my emotions and my respect for the land so many want to take away. Protect these lands. We are flattening our earth and exploiting our land and as a result, it is disappering under our fingertips.

Pumpkinman 2009

I just got home from my first olympic distance triathlon at Lake Mead, NV. The quick recap- I had a good race I was 1/1 in my age division and 17/71 female across the line. My final time was 3:26:52. My goal was under 3:20...to my credit, the bike was 3 miles longer than I had anticipated. 3 miles of 4% uphill grade makes a difference in time.

Enough with the excuses.

What went well:

1. The bike. I had the 16th fastest bike split. The course was about 70% uphill with the average grade being 5-6% uphill. I passed a lot of people on the bike and I give the credit for my success to the bike.

2. The transitions. I can't seem to get these under 1:00, but they are shorter than other people's and I seem to make up a lot of time here.

3. My nutrition. I didn't have any cramping during the bike or the run. With 90 degree heat, I was worried about that.

4. Drinking water. I am not good at doing this while I work out. In fact, I have thrown up more than once. Not on Saturday.

5. My finish place. I was stoked to be in the top 20 women.

Here is what was bad.

1. My tube exploded before the start. This meant I was left with no spare if I flatted in the race.

2. The chord on my odometer came out in the first 100 meters of the bike. I was left relying on my heart rate monitor to make sure I was working hard.

3. My swim- I still suck in the water.

4. My run- not as quick as I was hoping for. The bike took a lot out of me.

5. No one showed up to race me! I was the only female in the 20-24 year old age division. What?

What I learned:

1. More bike-run bricks.

2. Swim 4x/week.

3. Always have a backup. With the tube and the odometer. At least I had my HRM.

No matter what, I had a great time and I consider my first olympic distance a success. Thanks especially to my faithful husband who took a billion pictures for/of me and cheered me on the whole way. Thanks, babe, I can't do this without you.

Instructions: GO TO THE SWELL

I am in a class right now, Cognition in the Wild, that is changing my life. The reading we do are spectacular. Then we go to the desert twice in the semester to practice what we have read about. The best thing about this class is that it keeps promoting the idea that designing an outdoor fitness program that does not include a gym is actually worthy of a try and it keeps showing me that doing so has the potential, not to change the world, but to help humankind become healthier and happier.

Our first fieldtrip was in and around Goblin Valley, UT. We travelled to the San Rafael Swell. I have not spent a lot of time there before but the trip was great. I decided that I could take clients on fieldtrips like that as a 'bootcamp.' Submerging yourself in the outdoors and seeing how the world has changed over time, and humankind with it, is an amazing way to put life into perspective and an even better way to motivate yourself to submerge yourself in the wilderness and absorb the healing powers of the wild. I wish that the pictures did more justice to the trip, but they just don't. Enjoy anyway. And GET OUTSIDE !